you can start to feel pretty awful when you realize the things that you do that are not for God. Its awful and then you feel disappointed in yourself and drag yourself along wondering why the heck did you do it, and mope around feeling like you let everyone down - especially God.
ok ok it is what i do... maybe no else does..
then you try to remember God is merciful.. and you say an act of Contrition, tell Him you are sorry.. then you are supposed to entrust yourself to His mercy and perhaps go on.
The go on part is where i struggle. yes it is self pity... and annoying ... sometimes it is a struggle for me to move past it... i think wow.. if i loved Him as much as i say.. then why did i do this.... .thing.
if you go to Him a million times and ask for forgiveness.. He will forgive you.
Jesus, i have been at your feet once, please help me once again.
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